Choose Your Hard

What follows a poor report card at home is often predictable. In such moments, mothers are usually the first choice when a signature is needed.

Since the mother was travelling a child with hesitation approached his father. Examining  the report card, the father asks his son to bring a rough book and write 5 names of close class friends. Speak to them and make notes what their parents said– not to compare, but to understand how differently people respond to the same situation.

That evening the father took his son for a drive, he tells him without naming your friends tell me how their parents reacted. The son softly said some of the parents were very angry. They reduced pocket money, curtailed mobile time access. Two friends asked to join extra classes. No new video games. Mobile upgrades cancelled, only one is getting because his grade improved from last performance. My friend in the school football team has been asked to quit. Some parents in the next PTA meeting are going to question the large number of students in each class, resulting poor control by teachers over students. The father realised his son’s competition in his circle, and questions him “Do you agree on what your friends have been subject to.”   

There was silence for a moment then the son said I try hard but just don’t seem to better my grades. “Maybe it’s not the kind of hard that brings out your best.” said the father.

Let me explain, how hard really works. I have learnt the hard way it doesn’t pay to get discouraged, so neither I let it influence me nor I discourage others.

You need to remember Life is easy if you live it the hard way and hard if you live it the easy way. Thinking wisely makes you realise how hard one has to choose. Your present hard needs a makeover.

Often most think they have done hard enough on reaching obstacles or taking advice from doubters and quit easily. To become successful, you need to embrace all the discomforts of hard work. Perseverance is the hard work you do, after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did. 

Your grand dad had strange ways to teach me. He would frequently emphasise learning is essential for personal growth, career advancement, and adaptability in a fast-changing world. He said the easy way of learning is from others mistakes. The hard way is from your own mistakes. The tragic way is to learn from neither.

His timings and manner of advice to my numerous seemingly small actions, made me realise later it built a mindset of attitudes, beliefs, and assumptions that is helping me respond to life situations better. When you return from school your room looks nothing less of a war zone with things scattered and fallen all over. On our return books from the bag went straight to the book shelf and the empty bag cleaned and safely parked. Packing for the next day was so much easier and organised, never forgot anything required in school. Shirt, pant, socks went into the wash bin, shoes in its rack not a single article was out of place, and with nobody to remind us. The discipline influenced our behaviour, emotions and choices. Learning the hard way, I learnt there is a lesson in every pain.

Granddad learnt boxing for fitness and skill not for competition and would say, “Life is not about how hard a hit you can give, but how many you can take and still move forward.”

He insisted never to compromise on values and principles even in your hardest of times.  

They had turned around and were approaching home. The son said “Dad, can we drive a little longer.”                      To be continued……