HABITUALITY - Helping or Hurting

A grandparent in the park was scolding his grandchild for littering. On being told sorry, by the child, Dadaji responded “Sorry is meaningful for mistakes, it doesn’t seem genuine for wrongful actions that are habitually done. You did the same yesterday too. Go pick your litter and throw it in the bin and then continue to play. I took the liberty to be seated next to the elderly, and asked him to say more on habituality.

Keeping eye contact watching his grandchild playing at a distance, Dadaji asked me a question. What percentage of my behavior, feelings and response is habitual? My silence reflected my ignorance and he said- the act of our habituality is doing something without actively thinking about it, turning it into a ‘second nature’ or a subconscious shortcut.

Subconscious and habituality are deeply connected. Every action and habitual thought pattern leaves a subconscious imprint (Lekh). The subconscious mind is functioning as an automated processing system, allowing one to execute complex, repetitive behaviours without conscious deliberation or motivation.

“For that which has become habitual, becomes as it were natural”. This seems true to what we experience around us. Poor civic sense, disorder in law & order, excessive foul language usage, easy traffic violations and rise in petty crimes etc. Most in society seem to be habitual offenders without guilt. Bad habits could derail one’s potential, resulting in anxiety, stress, depression, illness, procrastination, stagnation or a pessimistic mindset.

Dadaji went on to mention research reflecting habitual wrongdoings. The common universally were acts of dishonesty, unfairness, or selfishness. People become habitual liars to distort reality not solely for deceit, but to craft a more appealing or tolerable alternative to their own liking. Despite valuing morality, humans routinely slip into habitual moral compromises. For many unhappiness is rooted in their habitual roles they play.

Dadaji looked around for a moment and said we all are creatures of habit and these automated responses are not permanently hardwired. Neuroplasticity—the brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections—allows you to overwrite old habits with new ones through deliberate practice, repetition, and mindfulness.

Questioning one’s habituality surely works on changing one’s ‘Habitual Vocabulary’. The change from habitual wronging to habitual good may seem difficult. Do it as the wise have said “Make the difficult habitual, habitual easy and the easy beautiful”.

In Gurbani, habituality or conditioned thinking is known as Sudh or Reet. This when left unexamined, the mind operates on ego, reacting to attachments and desires. The Guru's wisdom (Shabad) is used to disrupt these negative, habitual thought loops by introducing higher awareness.

Transforming oneself requires consciously replacing bad habits with righteous living. Daily habits quite literally shape one’s spiritual destiny. Dadaji emphasised one must conserve mental energy usually lost in minding others business or distractions. To develop the inner attainment, one must periodically evaluate its actions in quietening the mind. To have specific prayer times, yoga, meditation and to read regularly elevating spiritual texts- helps better actions.

He cautioned in spiritual habituality one must not fall into "autopilot," where the practice becomes an empty ritual. One must ensure habits remain spiritually alive backed by conscious awareness and devotion.

Realizing time to take the kid back home, Dadaji’s parting words- “focus on Naam, which is not merely a chant, but the process of internalizing and habitualising divine virtues. Gurbani Aang 14 says has a verse “Punnee papee aakhan nahi…….”. ”Virtue and vice do not come by mere words; actions repeated, over and over again, are engraved on the soul.”

Ask the question “What am I repeatedly engraving upon myself”.