JEALOUSY IS A DISEASE - Get Well Soon

Looking at the mirror in front of me, I said, “Hi” Often I simply look at you, but today I wish to talk to you. Did you know why Jealousy is often called a disease metaphorically? Because extreme jealousy consumes the mind, damages well-being, and destroys relationships much like a physical illness.

Uncontrolled jealousy becomes an infection of the mind, filling it with anxiety, suspicion, anger and bitterness. It overpowers rational thinking, encourages unfair comparisons and eventually damages trust and relationships.

Jealousy often stems from feelings of insecurity or inadequacy. You may wish others well, but perhaps no better than yourself! While jealousy is a common human emotion, when excessive and obsessive it can seriously affect mental well-being.

It can surface in almost any relationship, between siblings competing for parental attention or colleagues competing for recognition. However, it is particularly pronounced in romantic relationships.

As I look at you clearly, I should be able to notice jealousy within me. But that is not always easy. I am learning that it takes some tuning in to recognize how one thinks, feels and reacts towards others.

Like most people I too thought I am not the jealous kind. Hey, you image! Haven’t you created scenarios, assumed the worst, or misinterpreted neutral actions? Have you not measured your worth, looks, career, or relationships against someone else?  Have you not felt a quiet satisfaction when someone you envy makes a mistake or faces a setback? Or mentally minimised another person’s success to feel better about yourself?

You had better choices. Seeing a coworker close a major deal, that could have exposed gaps in your own skills or strategy. Motivating you to improve. Watching a competitor or training partner achieve a milestone, that could have inspired you to train smarter and work harder.

Instead, jealousy pushed you into withdrawal, avoidance, back handed compliments, side remarks or cold treatment disguised as normal behaviour.

Have you also noticed its physical effects? Tension, a tight chest, racing heart or a knotted stomach? Obsessive worrying at times disturbed your sleep, appetite and peace of mind.

Spiritual teachings across traditions view jealousy as an ego-driven illusion that pulls you away from your own path. Jealousy repeatedly asks. "Why them and not me?"

Bhagavad Gita reminds us that it is better to follow our own path, even imperfectly, than to imitate another’s. Suffering does not come from others moving ahead; it comes from losing sight of our own journey.

It is time to actively wish peace, joy, and happiness for ourselves and extend those very wishes to the person we feel jealous of. View their success as a possibility rather than a threat.

Guess what? You can get well soon, by revisiting the wisdom of Gurbani. I must relearn that jealousy (Eersha) is a destructive poison that chains the soul to ego, maya and inner turmoil.

Invoking thoughts from Gurbani-

Jis andar taat paraaee hove……. “One whose heart is filled with jealousy of others, never comes to any good. No one pays any attention to what he says; he is just a fool crying out.

Ekas sio jaa kaa man raataa

… “Those whose minds are imbued with One Lord, forget to feel jealous of others.” SGGS Aang 189

True contentment comes from looking inward rather than measuring ourselves against external possessions or achievements.

I smiled. The image reflected my smile. Then came a silence between us, as if both were introspecting, learning and resolving to get well soon.