Make Manners Your Matter

A joint family of ‘Manners’ was discussing at home how much manners seemed missing in us and around us. Who was responsible, nobody could figure out. Dadiji looks at her great grandson and said “learning good manners without seeing them has little to learn.

Her words brought the second and third generations into confrontation. The youngest quietly intervened. “Why argue? Let us visit the museum of “AI Archives of Lost & Found” and see if we can find the missing footprints.

With prior bookings, the family of seven- representing four generations were escorted into a screening room named ‘Humanity’. The screen lit up. A symbol appeared and a voice said “Hello.” The youngest clapped. “That’s AI, It will communicate with us”.

As Dadaji began introducing the family, AI interrupted, “No need, Dadaji. I know your family.” “Know what” asked Dadi ji. “Your preferences, travels, habits, social presence and much more. The youngster quickly intervened, “say no more otherwise they will learn how to monitor us.” 

AI paused. “Fair enough. But tell me, what brings four generations here to discuss manners?” Dadaji responded with authority. ‘Manners’ and social etiquette in India have roots going back to Vedic and Dharmashastra traditions. Respect for elders, hospitality conduct, speech and consideration for others were part of daily life. Outer manners were seen as reflection of inner purity, social harmony and the ability to tame the ego. But today manners seems to be disappearing.”

After a brief silence AI responded: “Society changed. Wars, technology, greater individual freedom and the demand for speed, gradually altered how people communicate. Formality gave way to familiarity, and consideration was often replaced by convenience.”

The screen then displayed the generations:

Greatest Generation (1901–1927): Grew up with strong respect for elders, discipline, dress codes and formal social conduct.

Silent Generation (1928–1945) continued those values, favouring orderly public life, quiet behaviour and respect for social rules.

Baby Boomers (1946–1964) Questioned many traditions, challenged authority and made social interaction more informal.

Generation X (1965–1980) Became more independent, dropped formal titles and treated many social rules more casually.

Millennials (1981–1996): Shifted much communication from face-to-face interaction to texting, screens and social media.

Generation Z (1997–2012): Grew up digitally, preferring quick, direct communication and often finding traditional formalities unnecessary.

The youngest asked, “AI, what does ‘manners’ mean to you?“ AI answered: “I can behave politely, but I cannot feel empathy, I can be programmed to say the right words, but humans can genuinely care. I do not grow up in a family, absorb a culture or experience the warmth of human relationships.”

The culture during Dadaji times and before knew and practiced the spiritual wisdoms as in- “Do to others as you would have them to do to you”- “Adab & Akhlaq” (morality and etiquettes), -“Daivi Sampada” (spiritual liberation and inner peace), - “Namrata” (sweetness of tongue and humility) on a daily basis. I understand his concerns today, as the same culture is losing manners to personal rudeness, lack of consideration and disregard for others, becoming visible even in small every day matters. Look at digital spaces, heavy traffic and crowded places. Personal convenience often takes priority over community awareness”

No doubt generations adopt changes, but humans must save culture and hold on to spiritual values. “If humans can program a machine, why can they not teach their own children, siblings and families? Good manners cost nothing, bad manners can cost you your reputation, worst discomforting humanity.”

Your coming together reflects the oldest lesson has not been lost after all. It is waiting to be practiced again. No education is complete without learnings and practice of ‘Manners.’

‘Make    Manners    Your    Matter’