BITTER WORDS (Kadve Bol)

The secret of good comedy or humour expression is its timing. We all will love to have in our circle of family, friends, and colleague’s people bringing laughter in our lives. Unfortunately in the similar circle we receive or are generous to utter bitter words without realising the damage it does.

The generosity with which bitter words are said the earlier curtailed the better. A learning from a (sakhi) a tale during the time of Gurus does influence us to take caution to the choice of words, as the penance for such expressions can be severe. Post a Darbar session Guru Gobind Singh ji and others gathered to witness a madari, who wanted to show his bear’s act to Guru Saheb. A few minutes into the act, Bhai Kirtiya was told by Guru Gobind Singh ji the bear you are clapping at, in his last life was your father. Stunned Bhai Kirtiya responded how it is possible; my father was associated with the Gurudwara and for years served your father, dear Guru Saheb. The dismayed and dejected Bhai Kirtiya was then told one day while his father was distributing Parshad a humble devotee in a hurry was jumping pushing his way to take parshad from him. Your father told him to wait a couple of times but he kept doing. So in anger your father said why are you jumping like a bear and pushed him to wait his turn. The devotee saw a few droppings of the parshad picked them and hurried to his unmanned cart which was moving along. The heavenly courts noticed the arrogance and bitter words. What your father saw in others is what was granted to him and sent as a bear in his next life. This learning got me seeking forgiveness for days with my lord, for my past utterances of pagal, gadda, idiot that I casually did in my conversations.

Bitter words affect one’s own soul. A subordinate, in the family, an employee, colleague, a service provider and servants are often at receiving end. The soul that receives the bitter words is often silent and does not react. The giver does not realise the internal damage being done to others mind and heart. You may be correcting others fault but the manner you do is important. Words can make or break a relationship, a lasting memory of its wellness or bad utterances and it becomes baggage in our next journey. Well-being words uplifts your personal energy and lives, they are like your blessings to the others.

“Do not utter even a single harsh word: your true lord and master abide in all. Do not break anyone’s heart they all priceless jewels”.

- Siri Guru Granth Saheb ang 1384

Those words are acceptable, which, when spoken, bring honour.

Harsh words bring only grief. Listen, O foolish and ignorant mind!

Those who are pleasing to Him are good. What else is there to be said?

Siri Guru Granth Saheb ang 15