Choose Your Hard Part 2

The child requested the father to drive a little longer. The father smiled, negotiated a U turn and said “I am proud of you son- making yourself available for listening- it is the first hard step to change.  

The car’s roof was opened. Under the vast sky and the twinkling stars, the son leaned back in silence. After a pause the father glanced at his watch and said “I am reminded of a lesson your grandfather once shared with me.”

“He took me to a watchmaker’s shop. Removing the watch gifted to him by his father, he asked, what value would this fetch?” The man said ‘700’. Quite a sum in those days. Our next stop was an antique shop. They offered 1500. Then we went to a museum. Few people examined the watch closely and said ’we do not buy… but this is worth several thousands.

On our way back, your grandfather said- “Not everyone in life will value you equally. You must find the right place to realize your worth.”

The son listened intently.

After a while he asked “How can I become book smart?” The father smiled, that reminds me of my art teacher. She once said– “An artist expresses a hard thing in a simple way, while an intellectual often makes a simple thing sound hard.”

He paused then added, people often confuse being intelligent with being intellectual. Book smart focus on what to know. Intellectual understanding explores why and how to apply it.

But beyond both lies something deeper- lifelong learning. It is this learning that takes you beyond textbooks…. Shaping adaptability, clarity of thought, and a sense of fulfilment.

He continued, your grandparents nurtured this in us through four simple ways- Learning to Know, Learning to Do, Learning to Be and Learning to Live together. In a large joint family, your grandmother’s warmth kept us all connected. We learnt, unlearnt, and relearnt…. not through instructions but living.”

A soft smile crossed his face. “Your Dadi was deeply spiritual. Through Gurbani and sakhis, she taught us that the hard choices become easier when one develops a connection with the creator.”

She would often say– “Becoming rich is hard. Staying poor is hard. Choose your hard.” A quote from Gurbani she would also add….. Mukaṫ laal anik bʰog bin naam Naanak haaṫ… “Pearls, jewels and countless pleasures, O Nanak! Are useless and destructive without the Naam, the Name of the Lord. Even with only dry crusts of bread, and a hard floor on which to sleep, my life passes in peace and pleasure with my beloved” SGGS Ang 1306.

He paused letting the words settle and then said "our early learnings like- “without Naam, even abundance feels empty…,,, but with it even simplicity becomes peace.” This all along influenced us make hard but right choices, and live them as part of His Hukum. 

The silence in the car deepened. After a while the son spoke softly, “Dad … can you play the evening prayer…. the one you and mom recite daily?’

The father nodded, the car kept moving ahead, the journey quietly shifted from conversation to connection.