Disappointment ka saath

In the very first minute of one’s birth one can disappoint some people’s expectations. It is not long when that infant develops senses and begins its share of disappointments with others. One is not alone with disappointments it is universal. Disappointment is the state of feeling sad because something has not happened or because something is not as good as you hoped it would be. Disappointment comes from the mismatch between reality and your expectation. Disappointment arises as evidence of displaced affections.

Experiencing disappointment is linked to a neural activity in the lateral Habenula in the brain; the brain's disappointment center. When one nurses feelings of disappointment, Glutamate and GABA are immediately released into the Habenula. Changes and in balance in Glutamate and GABA metabolism plays important roles in the control of cortical excitability setting you up with several symptoms including anxiety, restlessness, insomnia, mental exhaustion, greater frequency of headaches, gastrointestinal difficulties, moist palms, over-perspiration etc.

Not being disappointed is unlike because of the nature of the world, our mind and our limits. Every day, people experience disappointments but how you deal with it and let it influence the mind is critical. A two possibility reality with disappointment is pinning on the wrong person with a perception that is not reality but an unreasonable expectation. There seems much beauty to deface others actions as disappointments upon one’s own failures, a convenient way being in authority or in a dominating position of a relationship. Often clueless how much it can hurt, people hold past disappointments to be one up in a relationship. Such acts express the gravity of what that relationship ever meant. Often our disappointment betrays a belief that we possess of where we think happiness is to be found. The more you love something the greater the disappointment. It's one thing to be disappointed that the weather wasn't the way I expected. It's another thing to be disappointed that my children are distant from the Lord. In both cases expectations was high but the disappointment is felt much more severely because I love my kid’s way over the weather.

Disappointment when growing as sorrow of the heart crushes ones spirit and if left unchecked leads to discouragement – disillusionment - depression and may end up as total defeat.

Learning’s from Bhagwat Gita… Defeat is when you have absolutely surrendered to the lie that God does not want your good. That God is not for you but instead is against you. When life confronts us with disappointments, we can transform them into his-appointments, into opportunities to connect with Krishna ji at a deeper level and thereby enrich ourselves. The Bhagavad-gita (10.10) proclaims that whenever we strive to serve him with a devotional attitude, he gives us the intelligence to come closer to him through all situations. At such times, if we seek solace and guidance from Krishna, we will get extraordinary inner experiences of his love and grace and stay devotionally focused amidst both success and failure. The right awakening will ensure that our future material successes won’t be at the cost of our ultimate spiritual success.

Expressions of disappointments when accompanied by supports and guidance of the observer complements the truth in expectations and its proximity to reality, expediting corrections desirable in achieving the goals. Well-judged disappointments are indeed a troubleshooting tool that can inculcate better understanding in the gaps of our mental framework of reality, widening our perspective, drawing correct assumptions, alternative thinking, become more knowledgeable and wiser.

Walk away as a better person from all disappointments starting this year. Wishing you a Happy New Year.