Distance Well

An elderly woman was reading a book in a coffee shop when a young girl approached her and said, We may not be on the same page, but it seems we are reading “Distance Well” by the same author. The old lady smiled and invited her to sit so they could share their understanding.

The elderly women began, “Do you sense that distance is far more than the dictionary definition of space or withdrawal?’ The young girl replied, “Yes distance feels like an inner experience as much as an outer one. It can create confusion or clarity, separation or strength. But most of us choose distances without awareness. We rarely measure how close or far we stand from people, habits, values or even our own thoughts.”

The elderly lady appreciated her insight and said; “In earlier times, distances mainly meant physical separation. Life moved slowly, relationships grew within small communities, and communication needed patience. Today physical distance has lost its meaning but emotional distance has multiplied. Instant communication has made expressions easy but understanding shallow.”

Calling her Dadiji the young girl asked, “Why do you feel the idea of ‘distance well’ matters so much today?" Closing her book gently Dadiji replied, “Because modern relationships are increasingly shaped by speed, screens and self-protection. Gen Z values emotional intelligence and personal growth, but often struggles with consistency. Relationships that need endurance are replaced with connections that offer convenience. Without a deeper anchor people drift."

She added “Distance becomes difficult when one has no spiritual center. When the first love and connection is not with the Creator, the heart seeks completeness in worldly things. Divine grounding gives the patience to hold, the courage to release, and the wisdom to know which one is needed.”

Dadiji continued, “Distance also reflects our inner state. We distance ourselves from healthy habits, from nature that once nourished us, and from silence that helped us listen. As we step away from these anchors, our emotional mind becomes crowded and restless. Stress grows not from what happens in life but from our stories that we create around it.”

Dadiji paused and said “Time plays its role too. Some distances soften with time and reveal loyalty. Others widen with time and expose the truth. Time does not create distance; it reveals the substance of the relationship.” The young girl listened deeply.

Dadiji went on, “Distance is not always a problem. Sometimes it protects, sometimes it matures, sometimes it offers perspective. But distance chosen out of fear, ego, doubt or emotional impulse rarely leads to growth. Many people expect relationships to heal themselves, while waiting for others to change. This waiting becomes its own distance."

She added softly “True friendship or love is never destroyed by distance – only paused. What is pure remains – what is weak dissolves.”

After a quiet moment, Dadiji said “Some people choose distance because they enjoy the sympathy it brings. They float on that attention and ignore their own part in the separation. Distance created without self-honesty becomes a habit of escape and is often thoughts for gossip and professional fees for some. The young girl reflected upon every word.

Finally, Dadiji took the last sip of her coffee and concluded: “For distance to reveal whom to hold on to and whom to release, one must first not create distance between one’s own words and actions. A conscious connection with one’s own soul keeps good company with the Divine. In that companionship, life binds, heals, forgives and helps relationships prosper. And when distance is needed, the Divine guides the timing, the energy and purpose – never out of hurt, but always out of higher understanding."