Not knowing forgiveness is why many can’t forgive

Un-forgiveness is when one is unwilling or unable to forgive someone for hurting, betraying, breaking your trust or causing you intense emotional pain. To add to it is a mix of bitterness, hostility, anger and fear. Holding a grudge or aiming for revenge can deplete our ability to find peace and happiness. It is the age of kali, an age especially categorized by the rampant inclination for quarrel and hypocrisy. If we cannot forgive then there is no possibility of any relationships surviving on any levels from family, neighbours and community or be it nations.

(Un-forgiveness is not an English word but often used as it naturally sounds opposite of Forgiveness)

To forgive does not mean that you condone the wrong doing. Forgiveness is not forgetting and surely not excusing. Forgiveness is not pardoning. Forgiveness is not ignoring accountability or justice. Emotional forgiveness is not the same as decisional forgiveness. All what forgiveness is, eliminating the negativity that results from hurt by letting go of emotional baggage.

According to the great saints of all tradition, the definition of love is the capacity to endlessly forgive. Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance towards a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. Forgiveness isn't just a kindness to others; it's a kindness to our-selves our own growth and happiness. When we hold on to hurt, pain, resentment and anger it harms us far more than it harms the offender. Forgiveness is intentional and voluntary. Forgiveness frees us to live in the present allowing us to move on without anger contempt or seeking revenge. Baba Fareed wrote “answer evil with goodness; do not fill your mind with anger. Your body shall not suffer from any disease, and you shall obtain everything.”

For many minds who struggle with forgiveness this single post will be far too inadequate in describing a very sensitive understanding, but surely will bring a change to realise the need for corrections in them. Understanding forgiveness will have more impact if one reads their religious scriptures, relevant physiological contents, think through and emotionally experience their forgiveness”. Humanity is not perfect “Love the creatures for the sake of God and not for themselves”.

“The healing and peace that can come from forgiveness may indeed seem heaven-sent. Appeal to your own higher – or divine – nature and see if you can forgive and move on”.