Stop The Physical Disturbance

The minds that indulge in self-pity are having an enemy within. In all urgency there is a need to stop the physical disturbance by learning’s that advocate “How to be responsible for self.”

Self-pity is an emotion in which one feels self-centered, sorrow and pity towards the self-regarding one’s own internal and external experiences of suffering. Earlier relevant mental states were categorized variously as “appetites,” “passions,” “affections,” or “sentiments.” The word “emotion” in English seems in existence since the 17th century, originating as a translation of the French word émotion, meaning a physical disturbance.

It is natural to feel a little self-pity when things don’t go our way and this feel good influence enables one to withdraw. The choice to be staying in that state of mind is not being in the present and which prevents one from moving forward. It is unfortunate soon our emotions are directed towards others, attracting their attention, help, and empathy. The self–pity influence is such that the individual attributes failures to external factors perceived as uncontrollable, such as bad luck or other people’s supposed resentment. This becomes common in those who are too exhausted to resist and do not conduct self-reflection.

We need to be mindful of not making self-pity as our regular state of mind or else it starts taking pleasure and the guilt becomes the flavor of joy. One needs to stop this physical disturbance by understanding that sometimes our emotions may not be telling us the truth, it may feel very real, it makes you believe it's real and you begin to think it's real…. but it's just a feeling. Self-pity is an immature response; it has never been a solution, it repels others and weakens you. There is also need to have clarity that depression becomes an excuse to not try, whereas self-pity is an inability to do so even if one wants to.

It is said self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive gives monetary pleasure and separates the victim from reality. Sadly most of the time one is not aware then there are those who do not want to admit, it worsens when victim’s mentality rejects the fundamental truth that bad things happen to everyone. An article written on Feb 2020 in The Independent stated “self-pity can be as bad for your heart as smoking 20 cigarettes a day”.

Why? Is the most common low quality questions self-pity victims indulge in. “Why is this happening to me?”. “Why did she do that?” “Why did he say that to me?” etc. Following this the victim’s mind comes with low quality responses; “Because you’re not good enough” “Because he doesn’t value you” Because she doesn’t like you”.

To stop the physical disturbance replace the word ‘Why’ with “What “How” “When”.

“What can I do to get a different outcome?” “When will I contact her and explain how I feel?” “How can I change the situation?”

The way we filter information influences the way we perceive things and no one makes us see anything the way we choose to see it. An important self-realization is to own the way we initially viewed things, is often not what is really happening at all.

Self- pity may come naturally to all of us but surely it is the worst form of defense. The more we feel sorry for ourselves, the more inclined we are to keep repeating unwanted circumstances.