The Womb Is Not Silent

Benti a young girl was having her hair groomed by her Nani. Nana ji sat in his armchair across from them, reading the newspaper and occasionally sharing its highlights.

Suddenly Benti asked, “Nani, many of our relatives say I look and talk quite like my mother. But I have never seen her or known her. How can that be?” Nani stopped combing her hair, gently turned Benti towards her and said, “Beta, you had met your mother before you could see her.

There were many unspoken communications between you and your mother.

When Benti was born, her mother developed a complication and died within an hour of giving birth. Her father had left when he learnt that he was going to become the parent of a girl child. Since then, Nana and Nani had brought Benti up.

Nani continued, “Modern research describes pregnancy as a dynamic biological conversation between mother, placenta and the developing foetus. It is not a communication in the human sense but a communication through hormones, nutrients, oxygen, immune signals, growth factors and other biological signals passing between mother and child.

“Your mother did not have to speak, for her body to communicate with you.”

Nani smiled. “During my pregnancy, my mother gave me many tips. Your mother was a good listener and a disciplined doer to all what I shared with her. She understood that pregnancy was not merely carrying a child. It was creating an environment in which another human being is developing.”

She gently caressed Benti’s face. “Your mother became conscious of what she ate and drank, her rest, medical care, lifestyle and the precautions she needed to take. She adjusted many things in her routine because what happed to her could matter to you.

The communication was not entirely one-way. Even while developing, a baby can send cells into the mother’s circulation. In a very real sense, motherhood is not only something a woman does for her child. The child also gives birth to a mother”.

Benti listened silently. “Your mother was also aware that the outside world was gradually becoming a part of your experience. As your hearing developed, you could encounter sounds from within her body and muffled sounds from the world outside. You could feel movement, pressure and the changing physical movement around you. A father tries to share responsibility for the emotional and practical environment in which a mother carries their child. Your father was not there for you, but as grandparents were grateful to be there with her. Nana intervened “we are very proud of your mother for all the care and love she gave you during those nine months.”

So, Benti do remember- “the womb is not silent,” said Nani. “You may not remember your mother, but your first home was within her.”

Nani after a pause added “There is another thought that pregnancy makes us contemplate. Our scriptures remind us that before birth there is no distinction of ancestry or social status. We all emerge from the same Divine source.

Different spiritual traditions have also placed importance on the mother’s surroundings, words, prayers, music and state of mind during pregnancy. These are spiritual beliefs and practices, carrying meanings beyond what science can measure.

Perhaps that is why the sanctity of those nine months deserves to be understood- not merely as a medical period but as a precious period of responsibility, care and preparation for a new life. A woman is blessed to be made part of Divine's creation process".

Benti’s eyes filled with tears. She put her arms around Nani’s neck. “Thank you for parenting my mother so well”. Nani gently held her and whispered “the most precious jewel one can ever have around your neck, are the arms of a child.”